Dispel  the  Marriage  Myths

By the end of this coaching session, you will be able to: 

• Bust the five myths of marriage

• Realize reasonable expectations

• Uncover your partner’s own marriage myths

Five  Most  Common  Marriage  Myths

• All you need is time – Believing that a couple will naturally grow closer with time is a loafer’s motto.

Fact: Marriages take constant nurturing, strong communication and a good deal of work.

• Fighting is bad

Fact: Conflict is a necessary step towards improvement, and an occasional argument is the sign of a healthy communicative relationship. 

• A good marriage is one where both partners get exactly what they want

Fact: In a good marriage, both partners respect the value of compromise, by respecting their partner’s needs, as well as their own.

• Joined at the hip – When you believe that happy couples must do everything together, you surrender yourself as an individual.

Fact: You fell in love with an individual, and that individual fell in love with you.  It is counterproductive to the love you share to assume that you have to give up your individuality. 

As family therapist Phoebe Prosky wrote, “The happiest couples are those who have spent a lot of time together and a lot of time apart.” So keep your own life, and use it to build your marriage.

• Your partners will make-up for what you lack, and vise-versa

Fact: Combining your strengths and talents is one of the great benefits of marriage. You are, however, still an individual.

Many people mistakenly calculate that if they bring 50% to the relationship, and their partners do the same, that will equal a 100% committed and fulfilling relationship.

The reality is that each partner has to bring 100% of themselves to the relationship for a healthy and balanced partnership.

If any of these myths hit a little close to home, chances are you and your partner need to discuss your expectations.
 
Complete the following exercise and then ask your spouse to do the same.

• How do you feel arguing affects a marriage?

• What is the role of the husband? The wife?

• Do you believe your partner’s strengths compensate for your weaknesses?

• If two people were really in love, should love alone resolve all conflicts?

Do you believe that you can change your partner’s bad habits after marriage? 

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